Friday, Dec. 09, 2005 - 6:44 p.m.

So, I got a call from the doctor about my last exam. I didn't get the message until last night, when it was too late to call them back. They only call if there's trouble. I did not sleep well, no I did not.

So today, they tell me that I have some abnormal cells, and "it doesn't mean you have cancer" uttered very carefully, along with a recommendation to go get a biopsy [we're just saying that you MIGHT]. And then a concerned call back later in the afternoon to see if I had had success getting an appointment along with an offer to call around for me if I had trouble finding somewhere to let me in on short notice. Why so concerned? That's not very reassuring.

I wasn't going to google the type of abnormal cells I have, becuase I knew that whatever I could read would make me feel worse-- I was going to just go, get the biopsy, see how it goes, then either worry or not as appropriate. Notice the past tense. Of course I did google it, and of course now I'm totally freaked out, because the ones they found were not the most innocuous of the bunch, plus they described some of the recommended procedures the doctors will use to find out more, and my cervix hurts already just thinking about it. I am squeamish about these things.

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