Saturday, Dec. 17, 2005 - 4:39 p.m.

I wrote a much longer, insightful (if I can flatter myself) entry earlier today. Just so you know. Right now, I want to just note that

my mom got us a subscription to Reader's Digest.

I can think of a dozen magazines off the top of my head that I would rather have a subscription to than Reader's Digest. Had she asked, I could have named them for her. If I cancel it, will she get her money back?

How can I possibly explain to her that I don't want it? She'll take it as further evidence that I'm now a stuck-up over-educated snob, even though I haven't liked that sorry excuse for a magazine for about 15 years now. I should be gracious. But if I am, she's liable to renew it next year. She hasn't got much money, yet what she spends she chooses to waste.

1. It's true, I did use to like it. When I was, like, 10. Since then, when I have been stuck in her living room pretending to be sociable, I have read "Humor is the Best Medicine" etc., but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it enough for a subscription.

2. It is conservative, lame, and usually contains articles about weight loss.

3. It is written at a 6th-grade reading level.

4. Make it stop. Please, please, please.

5. I know what it was, she thought I might like it, and it was cheap. Reader's Digest is a cheap subscription. She probably thought, I can get them this thing that they'll like (will she be also renewing our Gourmet subscription, which she knows I like?), but it's $10 more than this other thing, which they may or may not like. DONT GET IT FOR ME THEN, MOM. If getting me something I might like is not worth the extra $10, spare us both.

6. Oh my god I am so frustrated.

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