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Sunday, Nov. 27, 2011 - 2:46 p.m.

I'm holding up ok. Lots of family.

Have not killed my mother yet, which bodes well for when she moves here.

The princess stuff was from an aunt.

The main theme of my discontent has been food. People [in-laws] call Q a 'good eater' and I have to ask them not to (I don't want her praised simply for eating a lot). People [in-laws] offer Q sweets and I have to ask them not to (if we're all eating it, she gets some; if she asks for some, she gets some; but if one person is eating something and she hasn't asked for any, I do't want them encouraging her to eat when she isn't hungry or particularly interested). Then there's my mother, who is constantly moaning and groaning about how much she's eaten and how much weight she's gained and how she isn't going to eat for the rest of the day and saying, 'that's a lot!' when I give Q a third bowl of yogurt and berries for breakfast when she asks for it.

My mom is the reason I have instituted all the other rules about eating. Crazy 'rules' like offer her a variety of healthy foods, let her eat as much as she wants of them, stop when she wants to, and allow her to taste less healthy things occasionally if she wants them and if others are having them. Crazy! It's as though I want her to have a healthy relationship to food, where she likes a variety of things and knows how to listen to her own appetite. Radical.

Ideally the people [in-laws] around me would make the big "ooh, yummy!" fuss over foods that they know her to already enjoy, rather than being all like, "Wow, she sure eats a lot of peas." and then, "Oooooh! Cake! Yummy yummy yummy!!!" as if she won't pick up on the cues about what she's 'supposed' to be enjoying and which foods are 'supposed' to be a chore, but I realize that might be a bit much to ask.

Anyway, if I can get my mother to stop talking about her goddamn weight and stop doing the starve herself/binge routine as my daughter heads into increased self-awareness, that'd be nice. 81 years old, for cryin out loud. So miserable about food, it's sad.

Ok, /rant.

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