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Language Log

Saturday, Aug. 25, 2012 - 7:14 a.m.

Well, we sent a long email announcing our choice of name for the new person. We know J's parents will not like it, and wanted to give them a bit of space to process it before reacting. The email went out last night; no word back yet. I have a sense of dread, anticipating their objections. I hope they keep them to themselves. It was bad enough with Q-- this name is even more dramatic (I think), certainly no less. They'll need time to compose themselves.

Also, they're all worried about what J will do with Q if I go into labor before they get here. Dude. He will take care of her while I have the baby. That's part of why we have a doula. No, we will not leave her with friends. She views our friends with extreme caution. *tries to imagine Q screaming, crying, and begging to leave for hours and hours*. Um, no. That's not what I want her to associate with the new baby.

We talk with his parents all the time, even the most minute details of the day sometimes, and they have seen Q in action...yet sometimes it seems like they don't know her very well at all. Or their wishful thinking about having a uniformly sweet and cooperative granddaughter overpowers their perception of reality. I don't believe they'd advocate just dumping her into situations that cause her distress...I know they wouldn't, they really don't like to allow her to feel distress, much less than I do, actually...but they seem to consistently fail to make accurate predictions about how she's going to respond to new people and new situations.

I'm kind of conflicted about teaching her social politeness, frankly. At least at this age, if it even could be done. I think she has good instincts. I don't think I need her to learn to fake smile, shake hands, and say, "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Smith." But I guess I would like her to stop crying and screaming "BYE BYE!!!" over and over when someone comes into our house. If she could just remove herself to her bedroom until they're gone, that'd be fine behavior well into her teenage years as far as I'm concerned.

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