Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2012 - 9:03 a.m.

Christmas was nice. Too much stuff. We didn't even finish opening it.

I feel like a hypocrite. I liked everything I got. I got everything I wanted. And I take it for granted.

But yeah. My usual problems with the excess and what it's teaching Q. The volume, the emphasis on the ritual of giving objects, reciting who gave you what object, and people speaking in an impressed way about certain brand names. Status through things. I hate it. At least in this form.

It's not like they don't also give generously of their time too. They're are fully present and loving. But there is also this that disgusts me.

Really just gotta ramp up my efforts to teach Q the values I want her to have. And not worry about the 2-3 times a year when the grandparents get ahold of her. If we live true to our values, those are what she'll absorb.

I guess I have some guilt that I don't always live according to my own values. I want her to learn to give, but I don't make that a focus myself. I want her to learn to make do with less, but I don't always do that myself. I take the easy way out. I want her to learn to value what she has and not always want more.

I have to try harder.

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