Friday, Nov. 01, 2013 - 12:47 p.m.

Good Halloween. Q only trick or treated at like 5 houses before deciding she just wanted to go home and eat candy. Could not convince her to go back our. But she enjoyed the costume and enjoyed giving out candy to the people who came to our place. So it's fine.

My candy was met with some enthusiasm. I suppose it's likely that most of these kids have never had homemade candy before. I will never know whether it was enjoyed or not, but I had fun, and I like to think that I planted a little seed of " this is something people can do". I'll do it again next year if circumstances allow.

Doing this weekend solo as J has a conference. My mom is helping a great deal. She actually read stories to Q last night until she fell asleep.

"I wish I could get her to do..." is a constant refrain in my head. Stop talking about weight, stop talking about pretty pretty pretty, stop offering treats without my ok, stop ignoring an escalating behavior situation until it's too late, stop trying to use shame as a primary discipline device.

I can't get her to do anything. But she's wonderful in many ways. My own patience with my children is refutation. My willingness to speak up even if it annoys her is a refutation. My willingness to let my daughter go out tangled and wrinkly will override her "pretties". And too, she raised me. And look how I turned out. I want to be more patient with her, too, but that's the hardest thing.

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