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Friday, Jan. 17, 2014 - 11:20 a.m.

Getting ready for the birthday party tomorrow. Lots of cooking to do because we can't be like normal people and just buy everything. That is both good and bad. One child has a bunch of food allergies, and we want to be good hosts, is part of it.

My mom mentioned that she was supposed to be doing a project a week. She said last week she was supposed to write three letters. She did not do it. This week, it's losing 3 pounds. And then she outlined to me her plan for doing that. Food restriction, of course, and no plans for additional movement.

Can I just say again how sad it is that an 83 year old woman is worrying about this. If it were about health, that would be one thing, but I know it's not. At least she didn't bring it up in front of Q. Hopefully she will have the sense not to. Had to intercept her the other day for telling Q she could have her treat "after you eat all your tamale". She just gets pissed and won't listen to the why or think about any of it. So incurious.

Here, let's talk a moment about what I do love about my mother. She thinks often of doing nice things for others. Often not the others I would pick, but still. She plays very well with Q and U, points out small details of things. She always supported my interests the best she could, even if she didn't understand them. She always does everything for us as best she can. Se isn't perfect, but she was a better mother than many, even with the issues I still have.

I just cringe with the weight thing. I wish I had a response to her that would tell her she's fine the way she is and has many more important things to spend her time on. Something that she wouldn't just hear as me being preachy again. It's funny, isn't it? What I dislike most about her parenting style was how judgmental and shaming she was. Now I guess she thinks I'm the judgmental one. But they are my kids, and I do have a right to remind people who interact with them what the ground rules are.

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