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Language Log

Thursday, Apr. 13, 2017 - 5:25 p.m.

Had a hard time today. J is away and mom had to come with me to the coop classes to help with E and U. Q didn't want to go to her second class and was generally out of sorts-- she started crying (which she does quite loudly and with abandon, not quite she appropriate). I was trying to manage the preschool class and try to figure out how to help her, and mom swooped in to start her "shame her into not crying" song and dance. I tried to shut that shit down and was only semi-successful. She stresses me out and causes the angriest responses in me. Even if what she were going to say to Q were going to accomplish something other than escalating the situation (and why should I allow her to further upset my already upset daughter? Pouring on more of the "you should feel like shit for not being able to act better" sauce is not the answer and never has been), you'd think she'd learn that it pisses me the fuck off. Ugh. Everyone thinks she's the sweetest old lady. I think I need therapy to figure out how to deal with her.

Another thing she said today, before this happened. She had been staying with my cousin whonwas in town because my uncle is poorly, and was talking about how passionately cousin was speaking about stuff like gay rights. This is the second time she has brought it up. "I can't believe how worked up she got! Some of the things she was saying! And then she had to go out and calm down. She apologized to me later." I said, well, it sounds like she cares deeply about it. It sounded reasonable to me. Then mom says yes, her dad is like that too. "When that killing of those children happened in Connecticut, he was talking about it and he CRIED. I mean, I thought it was horrible, but I wouldn't CRY. And he still cries when he talks about Danny. [his son who died].

Newtown? She found it surprising that someone would cry when talking about Newtown? And she used to chastise ME for being unempathetic?

So no, lady, you are not in charge of teaching my children about appropriate displays of emotion.

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