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Sunday, Jan. 07, 2018 - 12:59 p.m.
U tried to go into Q's room after her shower this morning-- he knows she likes this time to be alone and get dressed and play quietly a little, he was being a pesky little brother-- and she slammed the door on his wrist. I go in to comfort him and she starts fussing at me to get out. I poked her in her belly with my finger. Three or four pokes to her big fat belly. She cried and I immediately felt like shit. See how my anger is no more controllable than theirs. See how my anger transforms into disgust at her body, and aggression against her body. See how her body is a focal point for my every sense of failure as a parent. Will noticing this help? I hope so.
I am feeling overwhelmed again.
I just want to curl into a little ball of CAnt Even, or work on pointless art projects all day. Ugh.previous next
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