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Language Log

Friday, Feb. 02, 2018 - 9:50 p.m.

Never finished the second piece for the show. Decided not to give them the cat one, not even for the non-auction portion. Have been trying to come up with mother quickie but no leads on anything actually good. Wrath would be a crumpled paper. Sloth wouldn’t be a kinetic sculpture, but a stationary one. Haha, get it? It won’t move.

Co-op went better once mom stayed with e. U was still very difficult first hour. Had to sit on my lap during the class. Got bored and started kicking the table toward the end and when the teacher very nicely and quietly asked him to stop, started trying to push the table around and so on. I had to pick him up and remove him for the rest of class. Called me stupid, etc. Not much fun. They let him do cooking class, though, and from there it went ok. Next week mom will be out of town and I’m not looking forward to it at all.

Made a list of behavioral issues of concern for U, if a psychologist ever calls us back to make an appointment. It is 23 items long.

Distracted him from kicking the bedroom door today by showing him videos of breakdancing, which I think he could do well at if he had an interest. He’s always saying absurd gendered things about dancing, so I thought this might be more his style. He did like it. “I’ll do that when I’m a grownup.” Then I showed him a 6 year old doing it, just to show him kids can too. Then he was all, “Well, I bet she can’t climb walls like me. She can’t make art. She’s not as smart as me.” I was like, hey dude, it’s not about what else she can or can’t do. It was just to show you that you could too, and you don’t have to wait until you’re a grownup. I don’t know why his self esteem is so fragile that anyone else being awesome feels like an attack, and he has to put them down to feel better. Might as well get him his own fedora, sheesh. Hope we can heal this up before long. I didn’t know these were problems 5 year olds could even have, certainly not in the absence of abuse. And yet.

I used to get Q out to park several times a week. When she was 2-3. Now I’m lucky if we go once a week. It’s just so hard. I am so tired.

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