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Language Log

Friday, May. 25, 2018 - 11:27 a.m.

In so many ways e is easier than the others but still we have been a bit softer with our limits with him because of exhaustion and so he does stuff like following me around crying because he can’t have iPad at 10am or a cupcake for breakfast and it just makes me absolutely frantic.

The other thing is U crawling all over me. Sometimes i’m Ok and other times I just start crying.

And if I’m trying to calm down and I have locked myself in my room but they go and get the key and open it to tell me they want lunch or whatever. FUCKING I KNOW.

In some ways things have been better but I still feel like I’m totally going off the rails and don’t care about anything. Anything but maintaining my newly fab booty and tag groups and maybe calligraphy but I don’t get to do that so wtf.

Always fucking bothered me if I tried to practice calligraphy and someone kept talking to me (MOM) or if they bumped into my table or chair. Now the moment I pick up my pen I have at least one person, possibly 2, simultaneously bumping into table and chair and demanding things of me. No wonder I’m going fucking crazy.

In my life rewind, I avoid relationship fuckup of my 20s, opt for increasingly frequent and kinky casual sex, get linguistics degree but bail on academia for art earlier. Somehow still have to work J into the storyline, but hold firm about not having kids. It may make me a shitty human, but they haven’t been a net gain for my quality of life. I mean, I’d still be an autistic weirdo but at least I wouldn’t have people banging pans near my head all day every day.

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