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Monday, May. 06, 2019 - 4:08 p.m.

When I was a teen I remember seeing that one video in psychology class that mentioned autism and showed the kids restrained and rocking and man I could relate. Similarly with my friend’s story later with the character who basically retreated into a catatonic state. Oh how I wished I could retreat that far. How relatable it was.

And I mean I had a therapist for a while when I was a teen. I told her I didn’t feel like I was like others and she rushed to reassure me I was. I was normal. Everything was normal. She thought that’s what I needed to hear but what I needed was acknowledgment that I wasn’t.

I still dream of being able to retreat far enough into my own mind to not notice the shit going on around me. Of course that was not what was going on. Those kids were in hell.

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