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Saturday, Jun. 08, 2019 - 10:21 p.m.

Arrived in Memphis.
Have eaten today:
Blt and fries
2 peaches
Some cheez-its
3 slices pizza
Cake & ice cream

Not happy about it. Tomorrow I will do better.

Have been here 4 hours and am already weary of having my opinion consulted.

J’s cousin and her boyfriend are here and I like them fine but I find I just can’t converse right any more. J’s parents talking, J and his cousin and guy talking. Sometimes they talk to me. Sometimes they are actively trying to involve me in the conversation, which feels burdensome. I mean when I have something to say I say it appropriately but the rest of the time I find myself staring at the floor constantly reminding myself that I am supposed to be looking at them and paying attention. Trying to pay attention. It’s hard to pay attention and look like I’m interested or enjoying it all. Especially when I am tired. It’s exhausting.

They (J’s parents) get confusedmad at me for not saying good night. When I want to go to bed I want to go to bed. Not have a conversation about going to bed. This is not how I was raised.

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