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Language Log

Saturday, Aug. 24, 2019 - 12:05 p.m.

I finished the Halloween bracelet. I like it a lot. It’s weird, I feel like my work is getting better and I’m posting on IG more regularly and yet every post gets fewer likes. Like they can tell I’m ramping up to try to sell them something. Haha.

Well. Whatever. I shouldn’t pay attention to IG engagement. It just makes me feel like here comes yet another artistic fizzle. Then I’ll come out of it hating embroidery and that’ll be that. Wish I could break free of my pessimism for once.

The woman who wanted me to make her one still wants it, so that’s something. Maybe she’ll put me in a gift guide, maybe not. May as well get ready. Idk.

My mind is like...I do things, I do tasks I have to do, and then at a certain point (which comes sooner if other people are interrupting me and giving me new tasks) I have to stop and let my brain chill. I just can’t go on, if I try to, I get increasingly irritable and angry until I have a meltdown. I have to go lay down and just zone out, or work on handwork of some kind to enter a state of flow. I’ve been looking for a way to describe this and it’s something like a cross between working silver, and gluten. I get tenser and tenser and less and less pliable until I snap. But unlike silver, if I’m given a rest period, my brain becomes pliable again and I can do things again.

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