Saturday, Oct. 12, 2019 - 8:44 a.m.

One minute U was cute and snuggly, I get up to go to the bathroom and wash some dishes and next thing you know he’s banging on Q’s door with a toy and yelling at her because she wants to be alone. So I haul him away, taking toys away and explaining that just because someone wants to be alone doesn’t mean they don’t like you. But he refuses to acknowledge that that’s what it’s about and goes into Dickhead mode. Trying to hit me, saying he wants Q not to be alone to make her unhappy. Hitting me, hitting me. I always try to stop him but can’t always block it. By the 4th or 5th time he tries to kick me or swat at me I honestly want to throw him into a wall. Then he went and found a butter knife somewhere and was trying to use it to scrape the paint off the walls. Because anything we do to have a decent house must be ruined. Repainting not such an option either because then we have to face down a meltdown and attempts to ruin the new paint job.

I don’t want to parent today.
I just want to quit.
I was doing ok, I was feeling ok, like I could be productive today, and now I am decidedly not. Update: And now Q is having a meltdown because When I made breakfast for her I put the grits in a bowl for her. Up until very recently that’s how we did it, I put it in her bowl for firsts and she did subsequent servings. But she changed the rule without notice and now has thrown away the pan of grits and is banging on the door and screaming like a baby.

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