Monday, Oct. 14, 2019 - 8:49 a.m.

Feeling pretty ok today. Taking a break from working on the Halloween prints, which I really need to get in the mail posthaste.

Read an interview with the artist Nick Cave (not the musician). I like that he considers himself a messenger first of all, artist second, even though his art is amazing, he feels it frees him from the vagaries of the art market.

I aspire to have this same attitude in my work, the main problem being I don’t know what my message is. If I identified the message I would prioritize in communicating with my work, it would make some things a lot easier. His is a social message, but it doesn’t have to be a grand political statement.

I have a lot of moving parts and I wish they’d come together already.

I also decided that if I could build my ideal life (and I can, I don’t have total control but I do have some) I would (and do I mean me, personally? Or that someone should. I still get confused about this when I sign up for things I think are a good idea and then hate it thoroughly)...ah I remembered how fun it was teaching printing to the kids at the co-op and I still think it would be great to teach free printmaking classes to...anyone really. I thought less served groups, arrange it so it’s accessible to refugees or whoever. I’m not very good but I can teach the basics, and I’m definitely not going to be making anyone feel inferior about their skills.

Someone shows up to a public park, sets up a table, and a sign, and anyone who wants to try to make a print can. Maybe it becomes a repeat thing. Maybe someone would make a website showing the prints people have made. Maybe someone would eventually help pay for supplies.

Of course I also know that the minute I try to organize such a thing, I’d panic and bail. I need to find a way to undermine my own demand avoidance and anxiety. If I had to say, I’d say show up at the homeschool park day first. Make it open to anyone. Streamline the process. Remember how to talk to people.

Guerilla printmaking teacher.

That doesn’t make me any money, no, that’s a different issue. It’s just one thing to think about doing in my quest for meaning.

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