Friday, Feb. 07, 2020 - 6:42 p.m.

In-laws returned today.
I’m in the kitchen, I’ve been going all day with no break. Good morning doing cyanotypes but busy. Then go get kids from school. Then tried to rest but kids on me. Then in-laws arrive. Then I realize that I have to make dinner so I go to lay down for a few minutes while I have the chance.

Then I hear it. My name. And I just seize up, hit by a wave of annoyance and NO. There’s nothing worse than hearing someone I am expected to report to say my name.

So I go back out. No big deal but now I am tense. U won’t leave me alone. J wants me to get dinner started. My desire to just lay in bed and maybe cry has increased quite a lot. I also no longer want to eat what we have planned for dinner, and I want to take my pants off.

Unrelatedly, E noticed my new shoes right away and said they looked nice with my toenails. Who is this kid, are we sure he’s mine?

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