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Tuesday, Sept. 29, 2020 - 8:46 a.m.

U’s birthday went pretty well. Mom came over for the first time in months and we ate outside. She was inside for the presents opening. It was basically fine except for when E was crying about something and I couldn’t intervene quickly enough and she started telling him he needed to stop because he was too old to be crying. She always says it so calmly and kindly, is the thing. Not angrily, but like she’s embarrassed for you that you’re still doing this thing. Like you pissed your pants in public and need to be taken to clean it up as soon as possible.

She’s coming back today for my birthday. I’m glad we’re including her but I haven’t missed having her over.

My deeply rooted sense of the moral obligation to care for one’s elders especially when their time here is limited and they have increasingly limited ability to care of their own needs (mostly social in this case) really butts up against my own desire to enforce my own boundaries and avoid distress.

Anyhow I think U had a good day. The cake was a little dry.

I find it personally upsetting that the appliqué work on Instagram is so boring. I looked through some things in Textile Artist and those are much better but still. I was hoping to find the exact thing I haven’t imagined yet, being done to perfection by someone else, so I could mope slowly away and return to photo stuff.

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