Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2020 - 7:50 p.m.

I cut my thumb right on the pad, and now everything I do is irritating.

Just been working on the jewelry order and working out. Listening to The Prodigy a lot, stepping into the 21st century, hah.

My mom isn’t feeling well, she says she hurts all over and insomnia. But no fever probably (no thermometer) and no cough. Hard to know how worried to be.

Yesterday she was gushing over E, how he’s always happy and easy going and how nice that must be for us to have one like that since the other two both have “problems”.

I really don’t like that formulation. I like E. Everyone does. He has a nearly completely anxiety-free existence, he’s well liked by everyone and popular at school. He walks down the hall and people greet him, other kids greet him and want to talk to him. It’s a wonder to me. He would not be picked last at sports, if they were doing that.

But I don’t like that formulation at all. The other two are more complicated, for sure. But they aren’t something that needs made up for by the comforting predictability and social competence of E.

I’m hungry. Having trouble deploying myself to eat.

�