Thursday, Apr. 01, 2021 - 6:58 a.m.

Shot #1 done. Feels like a miracle. I liked the sense I got that everyone involved in the effort, from the people directing traffic to those administering the shots and monitoring everyone afterward, were very conscious of just what it means to everyone coming through. It was nice. Refreshing, even, to remember that that’s how our country can be when certain people are not involved.

Next one will be on the 21st, 3 days after my tattoo appointment. I will feel born anew, though maybe nothing else will change.

After I got home, I immediately had to make waffles, then mom came over for help with her phone. I talked with her a little and then went and laid down in the bedroom. But she started chasing U around and he came in there fleeing her (she always thinks it’s a game with him, and I really don’t but can’t convince her otherwise), and next thing I know there she is in the room, standing there looking around the bedroom.

I got up and left.

There was a time when I guess I wouldn’t have minded that. When the room was cleaner, when the house she walked through to get there was cleaner. When I hadn’t gone in there specifically to be alone. But yesterday, it upset me a lot. I put up more boundaries to ward her off and protect myself from her, and she barges on through them because she isn’t aware of them, because I can’t make her aware of them because of the fear of how she’ll react.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to report every way she annoys me. I guess I need a therapist. Lol. But they are often pretty big upsets in my day. Disproportionate.

Anyway. Then we all went to an actual playground for E to play with his friends. The other parents were there and it was a lot of socializing for me. They’re fine. My mask is rusty. But Q and U did just fine, and that was a positive thing both in terms of them being comfortable in playground vis a vis pandemic, and U being able to manage his anxiety around other people without any noticeable hostility.

U’s sleep cycle is like 8 hours of sleep and 20 hours awake. Last night was one that hit with him sleeping normal hours, so I got an uninterrupted night’s sleep. Refreshing.

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