Monday, Apr. 05, 2021 - 8:04 a.m.

Easter was okay. The egg hunt was fun and went well and we did it early enough that the chocolate didn’t melt.

Then I dunno, I got stress-sleepy and had a stress nap and then had to get ready for mom to come over and was just very demand avoidant about all that. Having her over because it’s a holiday? Demand. Doing it out of a sense of duty to her? Demand. Because J feels it’s the right thing to do? Demand. Every activity associated with dinner preparation? Demand. Her asking what she could do to help? Demand. Touching me and hugging me without asking? Demand. The feeling that I’m a fucking jerk and I shouldn’t mind my mother hugging me or offering to help? That “shouldn’t” is also a demand, yeah.

I dunno, I dunno how it helps to think about it like that.

I got through it though and there were no conflicts or anything. I spent a lot of time sitting in living room just popping out to the patio often enough to make it seem like I was doing something.

Today, transcription I hope and mess about with the necklace I’m working on. I also want to can chickpeas but once again I forgot to soak them.

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