Thursday, Jun. 03, 2021 - 8:20 p.m.

Went to the thrift store and got a bunch of stuff for Q and me. Good stuff! And all of mine fit even though I couldn’t try it on there to see how it looked and it was a size range from M-XL. There was a Weeping Angel top. There was a tie dyed sporty tank top. There was a lime green ink drop print linen button up. There was a loud pastel paisley Ralph Lauren button up. And a pink button up lace shirt. I think the sleeveless top with massively clashing unbuttoned top layer plus absurd leggings is about to be my signature look. Quite a good haul even though I decided to leave the sequined pants there.

Brought some stuff over to a friend and that 30 minutes of socializing was about enough to wipe me out for the week. Is it anxiety? What is it? No idea.

My old friend from high school is in town for the week, I last saw her maybe 3 years ago, and I reached out to her but after a couple texts she stopped responding. On one hand I feel kinda rejected, but on the other hand, I don’t know if I would actually enjoy seeing her.

I must continue to face the fact that I don’t much enjoy socializing for its own sake. I like socializing when there’s a specific activity of purpose. Taking pinhole photos of people or teaching someone something or learning something or sex or going to look at turtles or whatever. But not just socializing for its own sake. And that’s quite distinct from “we wish to socialize and so we will pick an activity to do while we socialize.” It’s very activity first, interaction as a byproduct for me. If the interaction doesn’t happen that’s ok.

So anyway. Maybe I’ll offer to take a pinhole photo of her. That would be something, right? Should I try? Or should I leave it be?

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