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Thursday, Mar. 03, 2022 - 7:26 p.m.

I set up a Patreon and immediately, I mean immediately lost interest. I still want to do the photography, I just can’t deal with feeling obligated to, like I would if someone paid me to help me keep doing it. Even hypothetically.

I went to the heart doc and idk. It’s probably fine but they’re checking things just in case. “I’m going to do three tests, one is the ECG which you need to schedule before you leave, there’s the heart monitor which you’ll wear for 30 days, and there’s the [FUCKING FORGOT IT IMMEDIATELY AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT, FUCK].

The heart monitor is a miracle of convenience/inconvenience. It’s so easy all I have to do it make sure it doesn’t leave my presence ever and charge both units as needed and package it up just right and send it back to them at a certain place and time and way and log every symptom I notice. Soon as I got home it said it wasn’t connected to cell service and I had a meltdown over it. If I can make it through the whole 30 days without abandoning the project it’ll be a goddamn miracle.

It was a real meltdown because I feel like shit the rest of the day.

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