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Thursday, Mar. 10, 2022 - 2:08 p.m.

Still stuck in photography mode but haven’t done any more photos. I definitely prefer taking pics of people with the pinhole cameras. I like how I cannot get the detail. And the temporality of it all is so much a factor.

Well yes, I am still neglecting the jewelry. That’s just how it is at the moment.

I’m in a constant dialogue at the moment with myself in my own head about what I want to do, how can I do it, what would feel to me like success in this project? Who do I want to be? How would this work make it so? What do I have to do to forge this into reality?

There’s fear there. Of a lot of things.

Every artist-related interview I transcribe starts as a description of social relationships. And you see that these projects and exhibitions see light especially because of/in direct proportion to how well the artists are able to forge connections with others.

I really want to be out here making a type of obscenity and smut the likes of which has never been known. I want a reputation. Especially the older I get.

I love my pictures. Amateurish development technique and all. Who cares?

Maybe next week I won’t care anymore about any of it. This week I’m hyperfocused.

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