Saturday, Mar. 12, 2022 - 10:34 p.m.

Haven’t had any more trouble with the heart monitor, thank goodness. And no more frightening levels of palpitations, though they happen fairly often. This is fine. If nothing is wrong, this would be a fine result.

I look at IG, even at things I myself do/have done, and loved quite a bit when I was doing them. And I feel angry. I don’t know why. Because I never got as good as I wanted to? Because the love and creative urge left me? Because I could do it again any time I want but I still wouldn’t be a success? Because I don’t know what that even is, for me.

Listened to a panel of specialist professionals talk about conferences and it was all about getting students and early career people excited about the profession. So much talk of connections made, opportunities given in person through happenstance meetings.

The entire system is rigged.

Anyway. I’ve been doing my stretches very consistently for the last couple weeks and I hope I can keep it up. Keep the progress I’ve made.

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