Thursday, Mar. 24, 2022 - 11:13 p.m.

It ended up going fine, except we only obtained the release form, not the car itself because now he doesn’t have the money to pay the impound fee because of some other bullshit that went wrong.

Enjoyed watching the calligraphy demo. It did make me want to take a class. It does make me want to do calligraphy again. What bullshit. The problem with choosing words has not gone away.

Similarly some article I read today. Filling in a shaped with pen motifs and embellishing it. Very pretty. I had ideas. I reject those ideas.

So exasperated with myself.

Had a long nap in the evening, followed by a longer period of laying in bed unable to do anything but think about how I was thirsty and uncomfortable and needed to feed the cat etc etc. But I couldn’t really get up. I felt like I should be able to but I just didn’t. Finally I was able to get hold of my phone and that helped snap me out of it. Autistic inertia, which J just sent me a Twitter thread about the other day so it seems like I’m probably just making this up and using it as an excuse. As if it hasn’t been a thing. It always feels like I should be able to move and then I don’t.

Now I’m wide awake. Doing some stretches that I failed to do earlier, so that’s something I guess.

I have some sort of idea of “oh if you do this sort of thing you can put them on society6 and get passive income” as if I wouldn’t still need to do all the things I suck at to promote it.

I wish I could snap out of it and make the jewelry again and then I could do whatever else too and not feel guilty about it.

I do exhaust myself, yes.

�