Sunday, Jul. 24, 2022 - 9:47 a.m.

Still stuck on the phenokistascopes. This is a road I’ve walked down before. When it takes too much planning and my ambition is too high and I end up making, at most, something that is the barest shadow of what I envisioned, but it exhausted me and was just good enough to feel like a success that I don’t press on.

Any ideas about how to overcome that?

Unrelatedly, I have PCOS, hence the birth control pills, but now hair loss and I just read an article about how hair loss is related to PCOS because it increases DHT in your system. Now, I had been thinking, shit, I need to talk to them about this because I don’t want to go bald (or have hair so thin I may as well be). I have always had long hair and I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t like demure middle aged lady haircuts, and they require too much upkeep anyway.

Now I think, oh DHT. This could explain why I’m finding it a bit easier to put on muscle. WAIT. Maybe I should just lean into that and get as ripped as I can. To hell with the hair. I’ll shave it. I joked about that already, shaving it and getting “fuck everything” tattooed on my scalp, but now I’m thinking a gargoyle or set of gargoyles would be a better bet.

Imagine me, age 50, absolute gym rat, bald gargoyle head… with some nice floral hats maybe. Then crying because someone has asked me what time dinner will be ready.

I’m not sure I’m in any way serious, but I’m not sure I’m not. I’ll keep working out anyway. I have a doctor appointment when I get home and I’ll ask them about the hair and the PCOS and what can be done. I just think I’d look like an actual turtle if I were bald. Not a look I want.

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