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Monday, Aug. 01, 2022 - 12:59 a.m.

Napped for two hours, now wide awake. 1am.

Schlepping my scanner across the country seems to have broken it. So that was a bad decision.

Child woke early enough but child is still awake watching videos. Our sleep situation is ridiculous and I don’t know how to fix it really. U has his own room but won’t sleep in it. In our bedroom there are 2 beds. One we set up for E, but he slept in it like twice. Back when I helped U go to sleep, I’d start in his room and then remove myself to this extra bed. And often he would come find me. Now he just comes to sleep there. E still sleeps in the bed next to J. This means bad sleep for J. Plus he watches videos before sleeping, which is a terrible habit but no one is interested in E screaming for video at 1am. Weak parenting? Maybe. I call it tired as fuck parenting.

So E needs his own room. We had planned to set up a bed upstairs and make our bedroom E’s bedroom. Except all the closets and clothes are in there. And me and U sleep in there.

I don’t really want to go back to default sharing a bed with anyone. I want quiet and dark and cool right now. But even if I moved upstairs too, not sure U would be content sleeping in his own bed (even though he slept on the couch down stairs almost this entire time in Memphis).

It’s both untenable and insoluble. We need a new house with enough rooms for everyone, but that process is just overwhelming. I mean, the same processes that would make this one more livable would also help us get ready to move. There must be a way out but I feel like a spelunker who has made a bad decision.

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