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Language Log

Saturday, Oct. 01, 2022 - 11:31 a.m.

It was a busy birthday week. A little too busy, I ended up not getting my pie and being in a general state of sulk for my birthday.

U’s birthday, Q was accidentally subjected to both J and E starting to sing happy birthday song. Very upset, very bad. Then for my birthday, it was like this:

I pick J up from campus at 5 and he goes on this epic driving around: getting our tacos, getting the kids food from 2 different places, driving to get my mom. He warns her about the song and literally as soon as she’s set foot in the door, she’s already forgotten and start singing it to me. Q gets VERY UPSET, she goes into supervillain mode. We whisk my mom away into the other room out of reach so she won’t give into the urge to shove her, which is a thing she does with the rest of us sometimes.

The table wasn’t ready, I had wanted us to eat outside where it’s nice but it was too late. So I bring her her food and she’s sitting there smirking, contemplating her poor treatment and our lax parenting and our messy house.

I want her taken home, and thankfully she has the idea soon herself. Q comes by and bops her gently but angrily on the shoulder with a cardboard tube. This releases the opinions. I tell her, it doesn’t matter if you meant to or not, your intentions don’t absolve you of the consequences of your actual actions. Welcome to consequences.

But J took her home and dealt with her opinions and heroically tried to explain to her that no, Q really can’t help it. He shut her down decisively on the matter of our parenting.

Mom thought we were mad at her for forgetting. And I mean, I kind of am. This has only been a thing for 12 years now, how could she possibly be expected to remember??? But I understand about memory. It’s her reaction that made me mad.

Anyway I need to try AGAIN to get her decent books about autism to read because she doesn’t get it. I don’t think she ever will, she blames everyone on a moral level for their brain issues (but when she forgets, we’re all supposed to understand and give her a free pass).

Q has said she doesn’t want her at her next birthday party, and I don’t blame her. I won’t have her at mine either again, because intentional or not, she’s not safe to be around Q, because she doesn’t have the brain power to refrain from singing the stupid fucking birthday song for 2 hours.

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