Tuesday, Oct. 17, 2023 - 12:16 a.m.

Yes, yes, it was my mother, of course. I was so upset. She called and apologized. “I just miss you all very much, and I think you should know that.” But I’m not obligated to anyone because they miss me. She’s not entitled to my time and attention just because she misses me. I do my best, and it’s not enough, but more is harmful to me. And there’s no way I can explain those costs to her.

Worse when _most_ of the time she isn’t insidiously abusive. Just not interesting or engaging. People still deserve support and community even when they are not dynamic and engaging personalities. But from me personally? Not really.

The job of long-suffering middle-aged caregiver to elderly parent is another gender role I’m shirking. It’s a hit I’m supposed to absorb graciously.

The answer to that whole conundrum complicated by her age, of course. Anyway, the kids wanted to see her so I brought them over and they had a great time, so there we are. If it could be that easy every time.

Today: Progressed on the calligraphy piece. Progressed on the textile piece. Did transcription. Went to the thrift store and got a dress for a costume for Q as well as a really nice purple and grey plaid coat for her. And a warm, cozy shirt. I’m ready to wear cozy shirts now, even thought it’s still upper 90s around here.

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