Wednesday, Jan. 02, 2019 - 2:13 p.m.

Spent yesterday doing not much. It was great. Brother and sister in law went home in the morning. I hid.

Occasionally my mil comes to the main house and even if I am not in the same room, I feel myself freezing up, cringing away and becoming anxious and shameful.

Today I did see her. “I left these laundry baskets here with the clothes to be put away 2 days ago. I really need a laundry basket for my laundry.” “What’s the plan? When is everyone going to be ready to go?” Not unreasonable but my demand avoidance is just. AAAAAAAA. I feel all of it as demands. Translated as “Why aren’t you taking care of your household as you should? Why can’t you do this? It is simple! Just do it!”

We’re at the children’s museum today, I couldn’t weasel out of it. Waiting to see what kind of fuckery will ensue. U was already having a hard time this morning.

When they have a hard time, it’s because of missing skills. Same with me. Sometimes you can have the skills and then lose them, I guess. I remember back when I didn’t let my garden freeze in the winter, too.

Yeah, it snowed in Tucson too the last couple nights.

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