Tuesday, Feb. 04, 2020 - 10:56 p.m.

Today was kinda rough. Had a meltdown early on due to 1. Misremembering which weekday I get dedicated work time on (I specifically remembered it had been changed and switched them in my head, but I still got it backwards) and 2. realizing that my work time being on Tuesday means that fully half the time I will not get it because I have to prep the house for the cleaners. I only get Tuesday and Saturday mornings, roughly 9-12. I mean yeah I could try getting the house ready Monday evening, but I always try and I never care Monday evening. And yeah, I get work time regularly in the morning between when the kids are taken to school and when U wakes. Things are much better. But still. Getting to leave the house is a nice thing.

I lost a good hour to the meltdown, got up and finished picking up, and then the cleaners were here which still always stresses me out, then the kids were home and by the time J took them out to dinner at 6:30 I was barely functional. I got a nap and that helped.

My seeds arrived today though and I got most of them planted. If all of them germinate, I am going to be in trouble. Purple peas! Purple tomatillos! Tiny tomatoes! Big weird tomatoes! Ancient watermelon with red seeds! Where the fuck am I gonna put watermelon?!

I bought some new sandals tonight. I feel guilty. I shouldn’t need new shoes. I hate buying necessities. I can’t wear my chucks once it warms up, though. Last pair of shoes I got was a year ago Christmas, so I suppose one pair a year isn’t too self-indulgent. So these are the barefoot running sandals I like. In red. Should have gotten black, probably.

�