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Saturday, Jul. 18, 2020 - 9:44 p.m.

I ended up ordering a slightly less cool but much less expensive mask from the creepy mask artist. It’s paper mache, not burlap, but it’ll still be awesome. Maybe more in a way, because it’s black and that will work well in the photos.

Q went to pick up dinner with her grandmother, it took too long and by the time they got home she was starting to become unhinged. She really blamed Gammie personally for her discomfort, which was unfortunate. But then Gammie just...kept doing all these sweet Gammie things that Q, like me, finds annoying when she’s stressed. Offering to do things, offering this that and the other, continuing to talk to her, continuing to talk about the upsetting situation, etc.

I feel like I could explain it all very well if it were possible to do so without hurting her feelings more. It’s part of why I get so overwhelmed here, they all do it and J does it more when he’s here (no offense my dear).

Q was in a situation where she felt very out of control of the situation (wanting to LEAVE but not being able to), and so she needs to assert control again. So Gammie was arranging things on her plate and trying to do things for her, and just. No. She didn’t ask for that.

All the fussing around and do you want this, do you want that, let me anticipate these problems for you and propose solutions in anticipation, what if this what if that. It’s all very...like just back the fuck on up, Jack. Give us some space.

And all the TALKING. I can’t tell you how the talking just. Is like bats flapping around your head constantly. It’s too much. And having it being asking things and offering things and saying things that require a response and problem solving and asking preferences. It’s too much.

Nothing but failure today, photography-wise. Some of it absurd and spectacular, some of it boring and predictable, some almost a success, but not quite.

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