Saturday, Sept. 18, 2021 - 7:14 p.m.

Didn’t do shit today… had planned to do something creative but just. Still struggling. Laying there on my mattress in the studio staring into space, running possibilities through my head on a loop but unable to get excited about any of it. Hated it all. I hate it all.

I think I need to keep it very simple, whatever I poke at next creatively. Very very simple.

When I was a kid, about 11, the children’s librarian set Alice and I to making these decorations for a display in the children’s section. They were big paper fish, which we’d draw and decorate and cut out and staple together back to back around the edges and stuff with crumpled newsprint. Then staple the rest of the way up. I loved making those. I’ve always wanted to take that idea and do a more grown up version of it and I can easily imagine seeing a version I would like a lot, were someone else to do it. Me, I got nothing though.

Hate it.

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