Tuesday, Aug. 09, 2022 - 5:09 p.m.

I went out to my friend’s place this morning. It was a mess. No cat to be found. Left some food there anyway. It was disturbing. Several broken down trashed RVs, broken junk everywhere.

I feel really sad about the whole thing. The cat, but also my friend, who is an utter chaos goblin, but as far as I ever saw, a good guy but just not able to hold his shit together in any way and always plagued with the bad luck that people living on the edge of society have.

Been ruminating all day on this thing we have about, ah, if your shit is together, you’re worthy and we will help you to some extent, briefly. But if your shit is not together, if you keep needing help or keep making bad decisions, we will see you as fundamentally unworthy of even the slightest break. “Don’t help that one, he should have his shit together by now, specifically in the way we deem appropriate”. And certainly such people don’t deserve help over and over again, but unfortunately people who are constitutionally incapable of getting their shit together generally need it in an ongoing way, definitionally.

But I expect I’ll never hear from him again. Good luck to him and to all those like him and his partner. I hope no one in prison notices they’re gay.

Cues up The Gambler.

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