Thursday, Aug. 03, 2023 - 9:33 a.m.

We went to the art museum yesterday. The biennale show was there. Seeing that sort of thing is always some weird combination of “wow that’s really good, I’ll never make something that good” and “how did that crap get in here, seriously?” I came out of it feeling demoralized in several ways at once rather than inspired. Also angry at art writing.

My piece came out ok except 2 of the photo prints did not and I’m trying to figure out how to fix that. I even re-coated them and exposed them this morning and it didn’t help at all. Meanwhile every time I wash it it’s damaging the rest of it. And I have these weird cyan water marks on the back of the part that isn’t suppose to have any on it. So I’m stuck somewhere between “this is awesome and will be fantastic once I get the 2 photos sorted out” and “This is just not good enough, scrap the whole goddamn thing”. Is imperfection a feature or a bug? Do I even care if it’s perfect? When do imperfections actually detract? Can I just sew sequins over them? Am I just looking for excuses to use more sequins?

Meanwhile, on Rev I got graded down and my dispute dismissed over me making an extra effort to do a good job on a file and doing so well and accurately.

I also have some sort of unpleasant cold.

And my hair has started falling out again. I was taking those keratin/collagen pills for a couple months there and they helped almost immediately to bring the hair loss to almost zero but they were $30/month so I stopped, rationalizing that it was coincidence, and now I wish I hadn’t.

�