Tuesday, Aug. 15, 2023 - 6:04 p.m.

A FB acquaintance who had said they had been approved for legal euthanasia back in April disappeared for a while but recently reactivated and still exists. It’s nice to have that story go the opposite direction from what it often does.
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A friend of mine who has been struggling a lot recently came to a realization it’s because of losing touch with who they really were, their ambition and goal-driven nature, in particular.

It’s funny, we spend our early lives trying to figure out who we are, and somehow I managed to lose track of it even without ever having figured it out. I mean, I’m kind of the same as always, but also there’s an ongoing sense of rediscovering truths I already knew. And yes for me too, there was and is ambition, but ambition for what? Fuck if I know or ever did.
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Anyway I still have not had another round with that jacket. I’m trying already to let go of even the shadow of a suggestion that anyone will want this shit. Because it changes it, fogs it, to use a metaphor from film photography. So let’s look at it this way, as a question. What do images or text mean on clothing, as opposed to on a canvas on a wall? What does it mean to wear it? What if I’m treating the wearable object as an object not meant to be worn? An object which just communicates? And then I wear it anyway? And wash it, not meant to be washed. What do I want it to communicate? Maybe just that I’m trying something, I tried.

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