Sunday, Jun. 02, 2013 - 8:15 a.m.

Remarkably disheartened by my inability to procure my resin. I don't want to go back to craft store quality resin, even though it served me fine for many years. But as I try to imagine even an interim body of work without resin at all, I realize that my medium was as much resin as paper. That's sort of obvious, in retrospect, but I had always seen myself as working in paper, with an assist from resin. Now I realize that much of the skill in my work was actually skill in manipulating the resin. If I just work in paper, I think that a lot of what's interesting about my work disappears. It wasn't just a preservative. I am so annoyed that the company can't even be bothered to return my calls. As I say, they charged my card right quick so I know someone is manning the fort. But not to answer questions about where the hell the product is, or when they might ship if ever or to confirm they have the correct address.

Guess I need to find a new resin company.

I want to set up my drafting table and start calligraphy practice again, somewhere that Q (and U too, in due course) can see me working. I want her to see discipline and practice at work. I want her see me taking time for my important work.

Time to renew my membership in the paper arts group. I went to just the one meeting. I thought it went ok, but now I don't know if I want to re-up. I just feel sort of disappointed and excluded when I think about them now. I don't think I really like communities of artists. They never love up to what I think I want. Or I don't know how to get what I want from them. I don't know what I expect or want, I guess.

Kinda discouraged.

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