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Saturday, Nov. 25, 2023 - 6:07 a.m.

And another 2 “no you can’t tell”s about the paintbrush from a couple people (one of whom is probably reading this.) Ah well don’t feel bad, it was an honest assessment. I’m dejected now though. But if you have any ideas of how to make it look like a paintbrush again while still being pretty, please share. My one friend said dipping it in paint made it unrecognizable. I think that sounds stupid, but I guess he’s onto something. But plain brush is just… not enough. The dipped brush is kind of the whole point. I didn’t like it with the metal ferrule showing. I don’t know. Hopefully the pendants are clearer and in context it will all be clear. I don’t know.

My vagal nerve stimulator, the Pulsetto, arrived yesterday. I wanted it not mainly for me (I don’t know that I want to be less anxious) but for Q and U but mainly Q. She tried it once and now says she doesn’t want to try again. I want to respect her autonomy but I also want her to give it a fair chance. She hit E upside the head yesterday with no warning just for making annoying noises or something and I really need her to find a way to be less irritable. She’s literally traumatizing her brother with this random violence and I feel very strongly it’s not okay. I need her to fucking stop. She goes and cries when I point this out firmly. Maybe she can’t control her response. I know she can’t. But then she tries to justify it like it’s not a big deal and he shouldn’t be crying. As if she herself doesn’t have a goddamn meltdown when someone unexpectedly knocks on her bedroom door. But anyway. I NEED her to try the goddamn vagal nerve stimulator for a couple weeks.

U was fine with it. I’m hoping it’ll help him stay calmer in the face of his OCD. That one’s a bit of a reach, but anything will help.

The thing is such a weird mix of legit science and technology but also kinda quacky-sounding. But my friend has been using hers for 12 months and says it’s been life-changing.

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