Sunday, Dec. 31, 2023 - 10:01 p.m.

I mean, the last few days, I was hypomanic. You could tell, right? With the ideas and all. My tarot extravaganza. I went on walks with the kids and developed the photos. I squandered my Christmas money rather impulsively (I regret nothing).

But then today I sank down low into the still and sullen pools. I embroidered. But I felt avoidant again and not so ambitious. Low affect.

Mom had called twice and I didn’t respond so when she called this evening I felt obligated to answer so she wouldn’t worry but then I couldn’t sound jolly and I didn’t want to make plans and I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow but no I do not want to come to dinner there with your neighbors. No.

And of course it’s worse now than before I answered. That’s what I get.

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